No Control

Some things in life are out of control and way beyond my control.  I struggle to accept that in our broken world suffering will happen.  Good people will struggle.  Believers with strong faith will question God’s plan.  The only response we hear from our prayers is silence.  Worry and anxiety crowd our minds.  We feel out of control.

About eight years a go, one moment of suffering for someone I loved changed my life.  That event has a ripple effect that continues still today.  All of my life has been impacted by that one moment in time.  Hard to explain how that experience has impacted my life.  I want healing, and I want to share that journey of healing with others.

I chose not to disclose the full details of this experience.  I do not want to relive them tonight nor do I want the details to overshadow the reality of how God has been at work in my life.  Today I want to testify that even in the midst of my doubts, confusion, and even questioning God’s plan, God has remained in control and remained faithful.

Questions about God’s plan have risen up within me recently as I watched the suffering of others.  I watch how their faith in God has remained strong.  I lift up prayers for God to strengthen them during this time.  And I am thankful that at the end of time, those who trust in God will no longer suffer.

During this season of Lent, we journey toward the cross.  We recognize that Christ relinquished all control to be the ultimate sacrifice for us.  I am thankful that Christ who could have controlled the situation submitted to God’s plan.  Over two thousand years later, we can hope because Jesus gave up control.

I battle with wanting to be in control.  I want things my way.  Yet if I give up wanting to be in control, how much more would I enjoy life?  If I let go of controlling things and instead set goals I want to achieve, a deeper peace would flood my soul. 

Tonight as I fall asleep, I give up my desire to be in control to the One who has been in control, is in control, and will always be in control.



Last week my sister, her boyfriend, and I went to visit with family friends at the children’s hospital in Winston-Salem.  I was awestruck as I listened to the mother share how God had been at work during her daughter’s recent three hospitalizations.  I was blessed to watch my sister interact with our friend’s daughter who was communicating with sign language.  Alexis loves children, encourages others, and blesses me.

Adam and  I have committed to the journey of life, love, and ministry together, and we are counting down the days until our October 26th wedding.  When I met Adam on March 16, 2011 I never could have dreamed that he would one day be my husband and I would be his wife.  God orchestrated our lives for us to meet and begin a relationship, and I am forever grateful.  Though we live ninety minutes away from one another, I know that our hearts are connected to God and one another.  Words can hardly describe how thankful I am for Adam’s love, support, prayers, encouragement, and constructive advice on how I can improve.  I love him!

I could write forever about the encouraging cards, voice mails, e-mails, and texts that I have received.  God has blessed me so much via the encouragement of others.  However, I would be missing out if I neglect to let God encourage me.  Yes, having others be the presence of Christ to you is a great blessing.  Yet spending time with God in the middle of the night when sleep escapes you or in the midst of a long drive can be just as encouraging.  God has encouraged me so much recently, and God continues to heal my heart.

Today be encouraged today to spend time with God and to encourage others.